Stop the Nirvana lovefest, please

Vh1 had another idiotic special: "Top 100 songs of the 90s". Vh1 hasn't played music since 1999, instead they have LAME specials like "Top 100 One-Hit Wonders" or "Top Ten Celebrity Meltdowns". Anyways, this list (as you may have guessed) had Nirvana's Smell Like Teen Spirit at number one. Like I didn't see that one coming. It was a really good song back in the day; it was much better than most of the crap coming out in the early 90s. In fact, I have no complaints for most of their songs. They were notable rock songs chock full of catchy, simple riffs. The two biggest misconceptions about Nirvana is that 1) they were revolutionary and 2) Kurt Cobain was a 90s John Lennon.

Nirvana was basically a punk revival band. They followed the underproduced, stripped-bare model of the Sex Pistols and Stooges. But they took their biggest cues from the Pixies. The whole loud-soft-loud dynamic came from the Pixies and even if Kurt admitted that "smells like teen spirit" was a homage to their style. They brought the style back in an era of overproduced songs. That was a significant event in the early 90s, but it wasn't a one-of-a-kind thing at all.

Second, Kurt Cobain was nowhere close to a John Lennon. John Lennon was an activist and musician who transcended his time. Kurt Cobain was apathetic, in contrast. He would never write a song like "imagine" because he wasn't an idealistic man. He was more of an anarchist, if anything.

Third, Kurt was NOT one of the greatest guitar players ever. I see his inclusion in non-guitar magazines and it makes me sick. Basically, his guitar solos fell into two categories: following the melody of the song note for note or playing a dyssynchronous fuzzed-out mess. His rhythm parts were solid, but unexceptional. Nothing wrong with that because that was kind of the point of grunge music: straightforward and devoid of fluff. In short, he wasn't in the same ballpark as Jimmy Page or Eddie Van Halen, which is just fine.

Huckabee scares me

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/12/10/huckabee.aids/index.html

wow. Bear in mind, this was in 1992 after Magic Johnson found out he had HIV and we had established that HIV was not a gay disease. Maybe I could excuse him if he said this in 1982, not '92. Suddenly I've gone from indifference to actively not wanting him as president....

Proving my point

So I wasn't expecting the deluge of comments from the previous post. Sorry (genuinely) for misstating the facts about the NBA championships, but the rest of the points are still valid. It's funny how those comments just prove my point about classless Boston fans and also the problem of micro-racism in this country, to which I alluded to in a previous post. I was born in England (not Bangladesh or Pakistan as one person said), you NEW England people. Your guys' region got your namesake from the country I was born in.

Plus, it's SPORTS! If my team wins, it makes me happy. But it isn't life or death and I'm not going to fling racist remarks at people if my team loses. Plus, I like how people are criticizing my English on a blog, which is supposed to be a stream of consciousness activity anyways, not a college paper. I have a higher SAT verbal or SAT Writing score than 99% of the people in this country. Again, you're looking at the color of my skin and passing judgment. The moment people said something prejudiced; you people lost and I won.

Funnier still, some people did not read the entirety of the post. I do a fair amount of patting Boston on the back. For example, I LAUD Tom Brady. I don't diss him at all, you idiots. Furthermore, I say that the Patriots going undefeated is a GOOD thing for football.

So I'll concede I made a mistake on the celtics thing, but all you hate-mongerers lost your credibility, not me. That's all I'm going to say on the matter because I'm not going to waste my time on you cretins.

As an addendum, the only critique that's allowed is one that is intelligent and doesn't involve cursing people out and flaming. This is my blog, and I set the rules here. If you can't adhere to that rule, then you forfeit the right to post; it's that simple. Because 10 people failed those criteria I set out, the Boston topic is closed for discussion.

Here's another solution for you thickheaded morons: DON'T READ MY BLOG if you think the topics are dorky and/or random. The title of the blog says it's about random, weird stuff so you have no right to complain in that regard.

Curse you, Ravens! and why Boston should shut up

Dammit! I was hoping the Dolphins would go 0-16. No offense to Miami fans, but I think that lifelong infamy is a way sexier storyline than unprecedented dominance a la the Patriots. I wanted to be able to tell my kids that I witnessed the worst of the worst. The ultimate stinkers. Unfortunately, the Ravens took pity on the Dolphins and choked hard as hell. So fuck you Kyle Boller and co.

The other big storyline this year: the dominance of the Pats. They have 2 games left in their bid to go undefeated. I'm largely indifferent (partly because I'm from Indiana). I don't have a huge beef with Tom Brady. Most Hoosiers reflex answer to Tom Brady is "he's gay". I can appreciate the guy though. He came from nowhere: a 6th round draft pick to win 3 Super Bowls (and probably a 4th this year). And if you were that good-looking of a guy then you'd be spitting game at supermodels and actresses too. Belichick, however, is a classless prick who deserves all that shit. All things considered, I think the Patriots going undefeated is a good thing.

Speaking of teams on a roll. The New England region is having a sports renaissance of sorts. The Celtics are the best team in the NBA and will probably make the Finals because the East sucks. The Red Sox just won the World Series..again. Good for you guys, but that doesn't mean I have to share your enthusiasm and "be happy" for you. Why? Because I'm not from the frozen tundra that is New England. Big surprise: the world doesn't revolve around Boston or your sports teams. The whole Boston love-fest is off-putting for the rest of us and we don't need major media and douchebag fans trumpeting their successes. Coincidentally, Bill Simmons of espn falls into both of the aforementioned categories. I really hate that guy. He uses Page 2 on the site as a tribute for Boston and its sports teams on....every....single.....column. He should be deposed for biased journalism. It's totally unprofessional.

So here's something for New Englanders to chew on despite your recent teams's success. And yes, I'm looking at you Bill Simmons:

1) Even if the Patriots do win the Super Bowl this year and go undefeated, the whole Spygate thing will always be mentioned in the same breath in the history books. I don't deny that other teams do it, but they got caught. The rules book is clear: it's cheating. It won't invalidate a Super Bowl win, but it will certainly taint some of the legacy of the year.

2) The Celtics will probably make it out of the East playoffs easy, but I think they won't win more than one title, if any. The team beyond the Big Three is thin. Also those players are all on the wrong side of 30. Before long, they'll become more injury-prone and then Danny Ainge will realize he traded away all his young prospects and draft picks.

Plus, you won't get any closer to catching the Lakers' record 16 championships for atleast another generation.

3) Red Sox congrats on finally breaking the curse and getting another championship. Too bad you can't buy your fans and organization some class. or a razor. Plus, I hate to remind you: the Yankees still have 2 dozen more titles than you guys.

Here's a great site I found:

http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/10/ksk-guide-to-being-insufferable-hole-s.html

In appreciation of Apple

Given the recent strides Apple has made this year in cornering the digital music realm, increasingly gaining prominence in the personal computer market, and the launch of the iphone, I thought it appropriate to write a laudatory post for Apple, the company that will go down as owning the year 2007. What a year for Steve Jobs really. He should be patting himself on the back. The ipod has always been a must-have, but this year finally the computers have also been selling like hotcakes. Apple stock is now worth more than Dell's partly because of this fact. The new OS, Leopard, can run the Mac OS and Windows, so now there really is no excuse to not own an Apple. My MacBook has never given me problems since I got it in the summer of 2006. My Vaio, in comparison, was nothing but trouble from day one. The only real compelling reason to stay with PCs is if you're a hardcore gamer, which I am not.

I remember my very first Apple computer. Back in 1993 when we moved to America. It was a Performa 630C. The first time I logged on the Internet was on that 32 MB beast. I rocked Carmen Sandiego on that thing. I've been an Apple fan from the first time I moved to America.

And yes, I'll admit it, my very first purchase with my first check from work was the iphone. It's almost perfect. It can't match Blackberries in terms of sheer software packed in there, but I prefer it because of the simplicity of the interface and the intuitiveness of the applications. 8 gigs for music and photos, oh yes. And the touchscreen is not only easy to use, but by not having bulky plastic buttons there is a lot of space freed up for surfing the web and checking emails. Those designers know what they're doing; they're so in tune with the user. The only addition I would have liked is a movie recorder, but it's not that big of a deal.

Apple made some bad business decisions in the past, but hopefully they continue this recent run of success because Windows needs the pressure of a competitor. Within the last few years, Microsoft and PC makers like Dell and Sony have really been resting on their laurels. Vista blew up in Microsoft's face and lately Dell's computers have become less reliable and have lagged in customer service (once their forte). Vaio comes packed with cool software, but the hardware itself leaves something to be desired, as I found out with my last computer.

So I wonder how Apple will outdo themselves in the coming year. How can they?

Babes of the week: MILF edition

I'm bored...all my friends are already back home for the holidays and I'm stuck here for another week. Ironic ain't it? In a city like Chicago, I have NOTHING to do. I guess this proves the adage that the city can often be the loneliest of places....

Anyways, I was compelled to do another "babes" of the week segment, with a focus on older ladies aka MILFs. For some reason, this week has been rife with milf sightings on tv, in the paper, or any other form of media. So here's my salute in list form:

1) Ann Curry



Yes, I'm an old man already because I watch the Today Show on NBC every morning. It's always on when I'm eating breakfast, and I only have local channels anyways so the options are not exactly great. Anyways, I'll admit it to the world: I have a mini-crush on Ann Curry. She's a good-looking, slim, and vaguely ethnic older woman. She has a sexy voice too. And get this: SHE'S 50 YEARS OLD! How does that happen? Some women just age extremely well I suppose. Meredith Viera, one of the co-hosts, isn't bad, but she pales in comparison to Ann Curry. Plus, there's just something about a girl in a peacoat that drives me crazy...don't ask me why.



2) Sheila E.

Prince be damned, sometimes Sheila E. was the best musician on stage when they played together. I just watched "Next Great American Band" and she looked GOOD. She must be pushing 50 too, but she still looks like a million bucks. All women should have bodies like hers in their 40s and 50s. A girl who can play a "guy" instrument like drums, guitar, and bass is always hot too.

3) Angie Harmon

She's really not that old, but I'll include her anyways. She has a nice smile and a slim body. Always a plus. She's absolutely stunning in that new show of hers.

4) Salma Hayek

Again not that old, only 40 some years old. But hot damn. She has wonderful....assets. Look at the pic, nuff said.



I just noticed that all the women I picked are somewhat ethnic. It seems that ethnic women age better in general. Who knows why that's the case, let's just all admire these babes of the week.

Crappercrombie

I've mentioned this before in a previous post, but I'd like to make it more explicit: Abercrombie and Fitch sucks. The first ,and last, time I stepped inside a store was when I was 14 or 15. And even then, I had the gumption to know what millions of kids my age didn't know: the clothes are low-quality and overpriced. Why do they sell jeans with holes in them already? I can buy a pair and use a razor myself if I was compelled. Everything is worn and tattered when you buy it, what's the point? When you buy something new, it should look new. I just don't get it. Please someone tell me.

What's with the ads too? Am I supposed to be coaxed into buying clothes from nude models? Those ads are disturbing.

More disturbing is their history of discrimination of minorities. Their ads make it clear: they are marketing to a white prepster audience. That's ok, though incompatible with a society that is one-third minority. But then they use that to market shirts that advertise Asian laundromats. These shirts say "Two Wongs make it white!" and other racially insensitive remarks. This is supposed to be a national, publicly traded company, bear in mind. Oh, and then what about how they put minority employees in the stockroom rather than let them be on the floor? Abercrombie got sued for that a few years ago apparently, though I guess I shouldn't be too surprised from this socially irresponsible company.

I thought I should spell it out because a lot of people ask me "Seriously, why do you hate Abercrombie so much?". I wouldn't dislike them so much if all they did was make crappy clothes, but I have a legitimate, ethical reason for not liking them as well. If I ever set foot again in one of their stores or *gasp* spend a dollar there, I may seriously self-implode.

The Heart's a wonderful thing

The heart is the only organ that exists in a literal and figurative sense (except for the ass, but let me continue this more romanticized allegory). It's the bellwether of our bodies and simultaneously the seat of our emotions. Not only does it spread that life-giving blood, but those emotions and feelings that make us uniquely human spring forth from it as well.

The more I've studied the heart this year, the more in awe I become. It's so incredibly complex, but the way it acts is so logical and precise. Like clockwork, it contracts and delivers that blood day and night. The conduction system is so in sync with the contractile aspects of the heart; it just amazes me.

Plus, it takes so much abuse and can keep on ticking. I thought about this yesterday: I just cut open a rat, blood was everywhere. Immediately, the rat's body goes into respiratory throes, as ischemia takes hold. Next I distend the aorta and cut it. Then I take it out of the cavity with surgical, but imprecise cuts. I throw it in this solution which is essentially just sugars and salts. Next, I attach the aorta to this glass cannula and perfuse it with an artificial solution that is just dextrose, albumin, potassium, and sodium salts. And barring infrequent tachycardia, it keeps beating! Thank God our hearts are so hardy and can take this kind of abuse. Why appease our stomachs with fatty foods and risk our heart's well-being? What good does that no-good organ do? I think we have our priorities wrong and take our hearts for granted.

When we can't help it, such as in congestive heart failure, the heart finds a way to be as viable as it can be until things start going south. Remarkably, the beginning stages of heart failure can be construed as a good thing. Our heart muscle gets bigger, the same thing happens in marathon runners. But then the stress of all that beating takes over and the heart can't take it anymore.

As nerdy as this may sound, I love studying this stuff. I genuinely do. I'm glad I picked this over my second choice: the kidneys. Blech!

Implicit Racism or ignorance?

So I read this RedEye article today. And yes, I occasionally read the RedEye because it's free and there's a lot of pissing away time in the lab. Anyways, the cover article discussed a phenomenon called "micro-racism", which is when individuals unintentionally do prejudiced things. For example, when a person. For example, asking a black person "so how was it like being raised by a single mom?" is a type of assumptive racism, according to this article. On the whole, I agreed with much of what the RedEye journalist had to say except I would argue that most of "micro-racism" isn't as much about racism, but about ignorance due to living in a bubble of an environment. A bubble being a location where not too many ideas or people migrate in or out, a place in stasis. A great example of a bubble would be the town my parents settled in about 8-9 years ago: Vincennes in Southern Indiana.

I think a lot of people got the wrong impression about me back then. Some (ok, a lot of) people thought I was this standoffish, somewhat intense kid. The truth is that, more often, it was because I felt out of place. Part of it was because of an immense cultural gap, just discounting race. Here's a rundown:

I was born and raised in England, then moved to Cleveland, where I spent my seminal moments as a kid. Cleveland, I still consider, my true home after all these years. I remember when we first moved from the industrial North to rural Indiana. I had never really seen a real farm other than through driving in Pennsylvania and upstate New York on the way to Canada. It was a shock to see tractors and John Deere stuff and stalks of corn as far as the eye can see. Another thing that I couldn't wrap my mind around were the accents of people. This was the very first time I had an encounter with Southern-ish accents. Drawling of syllables, etc. I thought it was the strangest thing in the world. I remember thinking "Where the hell am I?"

This doesn't mean that Hoosiers aren't nice people. On the whole, they are much more pleasant than Clevelanders and Chicagoans. Though it's not like people in Cleveland and CHicago are jackasses like in the East Coast, rather people in Indiana go out of their way to be friendly, which is a nice change.

However, the one thing I absolutely HATED about Southern Indiana hearkens back to that article I read about. Implicit racism manifested in ignorance. It wasn't intentional, but ANNOYING to have to deal with. It's these sorts of things that I have yet to encounter in Chicago, that are all so prevalent back home. So here are the stupidest comments/questions you'll get in Hoosierland:

1) "Where are you from?"

How I should answer this question, but I'm too nice to say it: "I'm from here, but more importantly where are you from? Germany? France? Italy?"

2) "Your English is very good!"

How I should answer this question, but I'm too nice to say it: "Thank you. Yours however could use some work. Perhaps you could increase your vocabulary and get rid of that annoying drawl and you'd be an acceptable orator like me."

3) Do you know English?

How I should answer this question, but I'm too nice to say it: "Well if I didn't know English I wouldn't be able to tell you right now that you, my friend, are a Dumbass with a capital D."

4) Are you related to (insert random Indian person)?

How I should answer this question, but I'm too nice to say it: "No, but I can see why you'd ask me that question. I just assume that all you people here are related to each other because I'm the only one coming from a fresh gene pool around here."

5) Go back to your own country/where you were born!

How I should answer this question, but I'm too nice to say it: "Well, England's pretty far away for me. Plus, if I did, then who the hell is going to be your future doctor/lawyer/high-roller earning buku bucks and contributing to this economy, while you're working at the local gas station?"

6) Stay with your own kind! (eg. - eyeing a white girl)

How I should answer this question, but I'm too nice to say it: "It isn't my fault that I'm better-looking than you. Here's some advice: Don't marry your second cousin and maybe your kids won't have buckteeth and a round, featureless face like yourself."

Other than the last few questions, most of these questions are innocuous. But that doesn't mean I get tired of answering them in an inoffensive way. Or that I don't want to slap somebody. So who knows what's the real culprit: actual racism or utter ignorance? I'd like to believe the latter. If people are fine with the bubble, why perturb it? That's the beauty of moving out of Vincennes, I suppose...

Candidate Rundown

Less than a year until the elections! *crickets chirping* Yes, the fact that every election season starts earlier and earlier has led to an unprecedented level of election burnout. Political pundits are running out of worthwhile questions to ask so they're resorting to asking "What tv shows do you like?" Which is a stupid question anyways because we all know that politicians are robots and therefore do not watch television. Anyways, here's an election guide for all you people out there, detailing you with the relevant candidates and who you should vote for...

Dems - Ah, the party of liberalism, taxing, and Kennedy; the trifecta. I'll almost certainly be voting Democrat this election and I'll say this: if a Dem does not win this time, it's time to move to Canada. Seriously, just give up if you can't win in an environment where Bush and the neocons are pissing away their political capital. I'd be happy with living in Vancouver, the smell of cannabis will help wake me up in the mornings...


1) Hillary Clinton - The unofficial frontrunner though her lead is dwindling. She comes off as strident in her speeches and a little bit of a hardass. I can't make out if her frontrunner status is because of her or because of having some guy named Bill as her husband. People already have strong opinions about her, so I'm unsure of her ability to win new votes. I think her being female is immaterial; she'll get the votes.

Pros:
-She's a real take-charge politician
-Experienced
-Bill would be First Lady

Cons:
-Most people already have already made up their minds on her
-Though people mistakenly think she would be the first female elected president, she, in fact, has a penis


2) Barack Obama - The man from Chi-town gets my respect, even if he was a prof at U of C (boo!). What an orator and personality. His inexperience shows, however, in the debates, but who cares. Americans don't care about policy issues; they just want a guy who looks and sounds presidential. I have my reservations, but he's my choice. He may not be "black enough" but that doesn't matter because he has enough mainstream appeal to trump that deficiency.

Pros:
-Dynamic speaker
-Good-looking guy
-Would bring the crucial Oprah-watcher vote

Cons:
-Not "black" enough apparently
-Would bring Oprah one step closer to becoming the Earth's overlord

3) John Edwards - The guy comes off as a slimeball to me. And his speeches are so blase. "Poor....blah blah blah....poverty....yadda yadda yadda....average American". I could be his speechwriter easily. I think his time is done. He's gone stale

Pros:
-Young candidate
-cares about poverty

Cons:
-seems to forget that he lives in a multi-million dollar mansion in Carolina
-has a wife dying from cancer and is out campaigning

4) Who cares about everyone else...they don't have a chance in hell. Kucinich gets some points for being an elf of a man and somehow bagging a smoking hot wife.

GOP - The party of rich, white men has candidates which are coincidentally rich, white men. Most of these candidates seem to get that Bush is as toxic as a radioactive waste dump so they're distancing themselves from him. Smart decision guys.

1) Rudy Giulani - I think it says a lot when the frontrunner for the nomination is a pro-choice multiple divorcee. It shows you how much the Republicans need a winner. Rudy is riding the 9/11 wave to the nomination unless...

Pros:
-the least conservative of the Republicans
-snappy dresser

Cons:
-apparently being conservative is important for the GOP, who knew
-would bring an annoying New Yorker accent to the White House

2) Mike Huckabee gets in the way. Mike who? This guy came out of nowhere (arkansas). But then again so did this one guy back in '92. Can't remember his name. Huckabee reminds me of Bush before 9/11: an aw-shucks social conservative who'd be happy to just twiddle his thumbs and run out an unremarkable 4 years. What we wouldn't give if Bush stayed that way, huh?

Pros:
-Pretty down-to-earth guy
-Lost all that weight. No-one wants a fat president. I'm looking at you Taft!

Cons:
-Huckabee would be the least-presidential sounding last name in the history of America
-he's a Bible beater

3) Mitt Romney - aka bald-faced liar. He's the epitome of a slimy political tool. Changes his views so he can get the nomination. If he was running as he is now, no way in hell Massachusetts elects this guy. I genuinely dislike Mitt Romney.

Pros:
-NONE at all

Cons:
-Hair was combed with a fork
-Flip-flops on issues
-99% of Americans don't even know what a Mormon is or what he believes, why would they vote for one?

4) Again, no-one else has a chance. John McCain is like Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace and Ron Paul, who is like a 1930s conservative, is at the wrong place at the wrong time as far as the GOP is concerned

There's my election rundown...now go back to your enlightening interview about John McCain talking about being a Vietnam POW for the 1,070,956th time.

at peace...

Nice, relaxing weekends are the best. My parents came up and other than requisite shopping on Michigan and partaking in some Chicago-style pizza, we just chilled and talked. It's those unhurried moments that can be the best sometimes.

Hot Topic owned by Gap?

The moment I saw a story about Hot Topic on cnnmoney.com and saw that the store is owned by GAP, I thought it blog-worthy. So that store that claims to appeal to emo kids, goth kids, and other pseudo-counter cultures is OWNED by the definition of a mainstream clothing company? Wow, you can't make this shit up. So everytime a mallgoth buys that pair of black trousers with a chain motif, it's almost like they're buying khaki pants? That has to be the funniest piece of news I've ever heard.

Here's the problem with purported counter-cultures. By the time they become sufficiently big, they are basically waiting to be corporatized. It happened with punk rock, and it was bound to happen with Hot Topic. Hot Topic doesn't make this information very easy to find, atleast if google results are to be trusted as a confirmation. There should be mass rallies outside Hot Topics spreading this news.

How can a self-respecting goth shop there knowing the money ultimately goes to irritating ads? But then again, I've never heard a more convincing argument to be goth other than "because I can" so I suppose it's all a moot point. Here's a new slogan then for the store

Hot Topic: dressing people who have the disposable income to pretend that they don't, all while enabling GAP to make more cargo shorts

France is on fire--literally

Some of my more conservative acquaintances accuse me of being overly critical of America; this could not be further from the truth. I am thankful everyday that I live in this country. I just believe that there are numerous things that this country can improve on. Number one on that list is getting rid of Bush and his coterie, discussed in a previous post. Despite these failings, I can be just as thankful that I do not live in France, a country riddled with serious problems. France recently elected a new president, Nicolas Sarkozy, who has promised to put France back to work and make it,economically speaking, more like Britain and America. If you've been paying attention to the news in the last month, you can see that the only thing he's been successful in is being the overseer of Paris riots and railroad strikes.

Actually, that may not be a fair assertion to make. It's not Sarkozy's fault really. I applaud him for going up against decades of bloated "cradle to grave" programs and other quasi-socialist ideas that have made France a difficult place to conduct business, namely the 35 hr. workweek. These are ideas ingrained in the French consciousness; they have become as quintessentially French as a croissant and the Eiffel Tower. It's going to take him his entire presidency and beyond for France to even consider repealing some of their state-funded programs.

The 35 hour workweek, in particular, is crippling. In experiment weeks, I easily work twice that amount. There's no way a company based in France can be globally competitive with that kind of law. It encourages laziness and cuts down incentive. This is why the best and brightest of France have actually moved to the UK in recent years. Also, 6 weeks of vacation is a bit excessive. Us Americans get by on 2 weeks and in those 2 weeks we still answer our emails and have our attached to the hip Blackberries. It can't be that hard if "stupid Americans" can get by on working longer hours and having less vacation time.

In urban areas of France, unemployment reaches almost 10 percent. Think about that for a second. The US average is 4-5%. Our lawmakers freak out if it reaches 6%. To put this into perspective: inner-city Detroit has around 10 percent unemployment. So there are swaths of France with unemployment rates similar to Detroit, recently named the Top Most Dangerous City in America. If high unemployment is correlative with other "urban" problems, then France is in big trouble.

Although there are major economic problems, social problems in France may trump those in severity. Ask pre-1960s America how marginalization of minorities worked out for them. Not so good, I hear. France in the coming decades will be more Muslim than native French, which is a problem because France has systematically ignored the minority population. Instead of engaging and integrating them, Turks, Algerians, Moroccans, etc. have had to live in barrios and working-class neighborhoods. This is a recipe for social unrest, which is what has happened in the last few years. Riots will become more frequent if they don't address this problem. It may be too late because the Muslim population is large enough such that they would have to make significant cultural concessions. Does France think the hijab ban or ban to call to prayers will last? They're kidding themselves. The social unrest is going to breed terrorist groups just like with Londonistan. They're stuck because they refused to engage the immigrant groups, the number one rule with immigrants.

It's a shame to see France devolve into its current state. I really admire French high culture. The paintings of Monet and Cezanne and the innumerable artists in that country since the end of the Roman empire have enriched the world. The French Revolution was a necessary, albeit bloody, moment in history. There would be no such thing as populism without that fountainhead movement. Hell, there would be no America without France, a fact I remind France-hater, Bush-lover friends. For all its faults, France has contributed much to the world. That's why you gotta cheer France on.

Babes of the week

Once upon a time, Hollywood women had class. It was a simpler time devoid of tabloid photographers and vag flashing. Audrey Hepburn, Ingrid Bergman, Grace Kelly...need I go on? Try as they might, the actresses today just cannot equal the elegance of those women. The only Hollywood actress I can think that comes close is Keira Knightley, and she's British. There's been a push to emphasize girls with freakish proportions over actual acting ability, and as I mentioned before, class. For example, jessica Simpson is an example of too much. Too much breasts, too much legs. But also of too little ( eg. brainpower).

Part of the problem may be because I'm not a big fan of the stereotypical American babe: blond hair, blue eyes, big boobs, racehorse legs, etc. I just don't get the obsession with blondes. The only blonde I can think of that stopped me in my tracks and made me say "wow, she is gorgeous" is Gwen Stefani. On the whole, I prefer darker hair and more Mediterranean, ethnic features.

So what can a 20 something do with his need for unrealistic pining? Go abroad of course. Hence I present to you two hotties abroad. The first is Amrita Rao, an underrated Bollywood actress. Sure, these actresses can't act, but when I saw her in Main Hoon Na, I almost fell over. This might sound weird, but I liked her better as the tomboy. She was quirkier and more raw, which is sexy as hell to me.

The second babe is Mylene Jampanoi, a French actress. She has a penchant for being nude in her films, which works for me, but if you've seen her in interviews you can see that she just exudes classiness. She's absolutely gorgeous as well, but unfortunately she's married. And guess what? To an Indian actor! That makes me happy when the brown man succeeds, often we're the butt of so many jokes while the women win beauty pageants like they're a peewee hockey league. She's half Japanese and half French too, which is obviously a recipe for hotness. That's why she is currently my desktop picture and the wallpaper on my iphone.

So please enjoy these grade A certified babes of the week.

BRILLIANT article

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/12/bush200712?currentPage=1

After reading this article, I printed it out and put it on my wall. I've always had a fascination with economics since taking classes at NU and this article systematically tells you the consequences of Bush's spendthrifting ways and dunderheaded economic policies. Since when did conservatives become so "liberal" with regards to spending government money? Atleast liberals have the good sense to raise taxes instead of spending money that doesn't exist.

Probably one of the most poignant points in this article is the mention of the weak dollar. In itself it is not necessarily a bad thing. It makes goods cheaper relative to Europe, which means Europeans come here and buy thousands of dollars of goods and help retailers. However, when people on the forex market have such a poor opinion on the validity of our currency because of our president and the state of affairs in our country, it's hardly a good thing. It's a symbol of economic malaise.

Another point that especially stuck out is how the government has been borrowing the past six years to help consumers keep up their own consumption. Where should that money have gone? Oh I don't know, maybe infrastructure, education, fixing Medicare and Social Security...but it's not like we're lagging behind in brain capital, had oodles of natural disasters and bridges falling, and a looming crisis with baby boomers getting older and older, right?

Anyways, read the whole thing, it makes you feel enlightened afterward and gives you rational reasons to want Bush out of office.

In anticipation of turkey day...

I'm ready to get out of the city for the week. As strange as it sounds, I want to go back to the cornfields. And no, not just to see my parents, but to actually experience the familiarity and slowness of rural life. Chicago is so high-powered and intense, which is great, but can be tiring after months and months of it. I just went out 3 nights in a row, until 4 AM last night. Oh by the way, I also had experiment days this week, which means I didn't get home until 9ish. I'm exhausted. But good news: I get to start immunohistochemistry on the preserved hearts. Good to know that all that work goes towards the engendering of more work to do. Awesomeness haha. So yes, I need this week, even if I probably won't eat turkey. I guess an appropriate level of nostalgia has sickeningly set in for me.

Get over it, Grey's Anatomy sucks

Whenever I'm at the gym on Thursday, this show is always on. Why does everyone love this show so much? It belongs on daytime television because it's merely a soap opera, with docs. I don't mind shows that give an unrealistic depiction of medicine, otherwise I wouldn't enjoy Scrubs. It's just that each and every character is superficial and, worst of all, annoying. Basically, this hospital is a high school. Nothing but cliques, gossip, and drama, especially of the latter. The cast is nice to look at, and that's the only plus. Even then, it's a given that a show on primetime will be full of good-looking people so that isn't much of a positive, imo.

Also, this show is just chock FULL of ridiculous moments. In one episode I watched while on the treadmill (I run for 45 minutes so I watched almost all of the show), katharine heigl was treating a deer. Yes, a fucking deer. Let me describe how cheesy this scene was. A dad runs over a deer in the woods. His little boy beckons his dad to bring the deer to this hospital (which is in the middle of downtown Seattle). Katharine Heigl is lo and behold the only available doc and has a group of interns around her. She explains to this guy's 5 year old son, "Honey, this is a people's hospital". The kid goes on and on whining. And guess what, Heigl relents and starts hooking up an IV to the deer and administering heparin. And then she asks interns to fetch her ECG leads and the shocker thingies. 1....2....3....CLEAR! And then magically the deer arises. During this whole segment, the deer is laughably fake looking. It's obviously an animatronic. This is the number one show in America, let me reiterate.

God.... it seems that the writers of Grey's Anatomy and the Bush administration have a corner on sheer idiocy in this country.

Why Men should not be afraid of style

So I went out until 6 AM celebrating one of my good friend's 21st. Inevitably, going out requires one to dress up better than one would usually. It is de rigueur for women to go all out, but for us guys it can be off-putting for a guy to care about his appearance too much. You cross the line and you're immediately a "metrosexual". God, I hate that term. In England and Europe, men aren't afraid to dress sharp not only for going out, but for regular old afternoon jaunts. Here, if you don't just put a ballcap and sweatpants on, then people seem to question your sexuality (both men and women).

Now, the best term for the guidelines I follow when I dress: I try to be as rakish as possible. I'm not incredibly trendy, but I try to wear form-fitting clothes that fit both my physical body and my conception of style. So, I don't just buy whatever; I put thought into the image I want to project because as much as people claim to not be shallow, we actually very much are. You get judged by your outward appearance and I've found that I get treated considerably better at work and in everyday life when I put thought into what I wear. In other words, when I go somewhere wearing a cashmere sweater with a nice dress shirt underneath and tweed pants, I get considerably more respect than when I wear a hoodie and jeans from co-workers and the cash-register girl at The Coffee bean. In fact, let me give you a clue as to what ensemble consistently gets me attention and respect: a Ralph Lauren jacket, cashmere Scottish scarf, Bachrach black Italian tie, a striped H&M dress shirt, a blue Express merino woolen sweater, Armani grey pinstriped pants, and Alfani Italian-made shoes. Basically, I trust that italian men know how to dress so i take cues from them largely. Basically, one of my good friends said this, "A guy should not have as big of a wardrobe as a woman, but his clothes should all be quality stuff."

So I'll keep wearing my Armani pants, Italian shoes, and merino sweaters, because they very much impact the way I get treated, especially in an urban environment. Image isn't everything, but one cannot deny its importance in even quotidian circumstances. That's why i salute Tom Brady and George Clooney for giving a touch of class amongst all the Dane Cooks of the world.

That said, I want to clarify what is NOT rakish. And that is any article of clothing from Abercrombie, American Eagle, and Hollister. Never in a million years could you pay me to set foot in any of those stores. The clothes are poor quality, tattered, and give off an unprofessional look. And yet, Midwestern girls and guys lap this shit up like it's Dom perignon. If you're going to spend that kind of money on clothes, then you could always buy something from Polo at the same price point with atleast some panache and class.

Observation of the day

Now I can't say that I accomplished nothing today. Remember that Sanjaya kid on American Idol (yes, it seems eons ago). Well, it turns out he has a sister who is hot as hell. She joins Navi Rawat, Padme Lakshmi, and girl on ER as a grade A certified IILF. Da-yam, the only thing that detracts from this pic is that chick to her right...oh wait, that's Sanjaya heyoooo!

The Next Great American Flop

So, it's been a long time since I've posted something. Partly because of work and partly because of nothing blog-worthy out there. Well, the wait is over. What has necessitated a blog entry? A new show on Fridays called "The Next Great American Band". It's from the same creators of American Idol and, trust me, it's NOTHING like that show.

-The host may be a short metrosexual, but he's from NEW ZEALAND, not america
-Sheila E. is a woman with a vague ethnicity who is largely a beacon of support for the bands, nothing like Paula Abdul
-Ian "Dicko" Dickson is a snarky Aussie, not a Brit like Simon Cowell, who always has a one-liner at hand to diss a band's performance. Never has there been a more appropriate nickname for a person, btw.

Anyways, the show uses the whole "least votes from texts, phone calls gets voted off" system, which automatically means that the best band is not going to win and inevitably a band equivalent to Sanjaya is going to pwn all the better, more experienced bands. In other words, a bunch of tweeners from Kansas are going to determine the winner that looks the best and isn't necessarily the most musically accomplished. But hey, that's what the music industry has devolved into nowadays so who am I to complain.

Despite the contrived premise of this show, I find myself surprisingly entertained by this AI spinoff. I usually go out on Thursdays and Saturdays and rest on Fridays after work. And for those of you who actually watch television on a Friday night, there's slim pickins. The only alternative is Friday Night Lights and Las Vegas, neither of which particularly appeal to me. Anyways, I'd like to run through the 12 bands that made the show and what I think of them because a) I got nothing better to do and b) there is no b.

1) The Likes of You - I've heard of this band before. The lead singer is a myspace darling and it was sad to see them go so quickly. Their vocals are amazing and if you're looking for the most marketable band, these guys are definitely up there.

2) The Hatch - I can never remember this band's name. I always refer to them as that "maroon 5ish quartet". Although their lead singer is a good-looking individual, I found their sound a bit too safe and bland. Nothing really innovative or musically interesting, but the tweeners would've loved these guys if they lasted longer.

3) The Muggs - I knew these guys would be eliminated quickly. These guys are like old people who just can't let go of the 70s and try hard to be hip and relevant. The lead singer looks kinda like an ugly Trey Anastasio. The band is really tight and their guitarist can rip pentatonically speaking. But I have to agree with Dicko, the vocals blow donkey nuts. His vocal range is way too high for the songs he tries to sing. And he can't pull off the Geddy Lee or Claudio Sanchez thing and sing high but sound freakin' awesome. Great bar band, but not a legit album-seller.

4) Rocket - The requisite "rocker chick" band. These girls are the epitome of flash over substance. The show spun them as this model for the young girls out there, but there HAS to be better chick bands out there than this sorry group. The instrumentation is not tight and the vocals are absolutely horrid. One thing they have going for them? The lead singer is nice to look at; she looks almost exactly like this girl I had a crush on. And like most girls she paid no attention to me...depressing I know.

5) Denver and the Mile High Orchestra - I've never been into big bands. There was a brief period in 1998 where big bands made a resurgence headed by Brian Setzer. And by brief I mean, like in the summer of that year. For missing the boat by 9 years though, these guys have a good chance of making it out of this competition. The instrumentation is tight, which is an incredible feat when you have a brass section along with guitar, bass, and percussion. The vocals are ok, but the lead singer is as bland as plain vanilla ice cream. He's the kind of guy who shops at Eddie Bauer, wears pleated khakis, and watches the Today Show every morning before going to work as a realtor.

6) Cliff Wagner and the Old No. 7 - Git yer gitter and meet me at Uncle Cletus' hoedown. These bluegrass guys are talented and I'm impressed that they can come up with bluegrass covers of Madonna and Billy Joel at a whim it seems. The one problem: bluegrass is even more niche than jazz or techno. As much as I admire the gitter and banjo twangin', there's no way in hell this would sell on itunes or at your local sam goody.

7) Tres Bien - A nouveau British invasion band. Take the Beatles, the Who, The Kinks and add liberal amounts of The Animals to get Tres Bien. Though they lose points for originality and I halfway expect them everytime to bust out singing "She loves you, YEAH YEAH YEAH", the band is decent. The frontman is charismatic and they're solid, but not exceptional musicians. I hope they have a metal themed round to see a moddish take on Megadeth.

8) Dot Dot Dot - Chicago love! My best description for Dot Dot Dot is New-Wave-y, powerpop band with emo-ish affectations. Their look is clearly inspired by Flock of Seagulls, Duran Duran, and From First to Last. In other words, they look like immense tools and silly nannies. What saves them is that 1) i have a penchant for 80s new wave and 2) they can actually play their instruments. Though their lead singer is a poster child of androgyny, he can sing pretty well. Their version of that Elton John song blew me away. And the guitar player chick is pretty damn good. I can see these guys making it because they are equal parts flash and substance.

9) Sixwire - I don't know if it's fair to have this new country band in the competition. They had a major record deal and the members toured with lots of country acts individually. It really shows as they are the tightest band. The gang vocals are just fantastic and perfectly synchronized. These guys would sell well to a broad audience despite being a Nashville band. My only beef is that they sound too squeaky clean. They have little edge from their perfectly kempt to look unkempt hair to their slim fit jeans. They need some rawness to their look and sound.

10) Light of Doom - Look at the above picture. You can see why this band is the favorite of pedophiles everywhere. I feel perverted watching shirtless kids with long hair headbanging away. *shudders* Anyways, Light of Doom is a bunch of 12-13 year olds who are like a mini-Iron maiden. Their guitar player, who is a good 10 years younger than me, puts me to shame. I feel like I've wasted my time next to this kid. He flawlessly plays 80s metal guitar. I just can't get over how good they sound and concomitantly how young they are. Their biggest challenge: their lead singer going through puberty could sideline the band for a good 3-4 years.

11) The Clark Brothers - A trio of bard brothers. They have no bass or percussion and guess what? They don't need it at all. These guys are one of my favorites. The singer just sends chills down my spine when he sings, so emotional and spiritual. And the way they incorporate violins and slide guitar is astonishing. It creates an atmosphere to the music that's both eerie and unbelievable. Unlike Cliff, I could see this back-country band selling records and venues.

12) Franklin Bridge - Wow. These guys blow me away. Take the Roots and add Boys 2 Men vocals with urban flair, and that doesn't even begin to describe Franklin Bridge. Carefree vibe and smooth as silk vocals are what these guys are about. Oh, btw the singer can rip on guitar. How the hell these guys go from R&B to rock so seamlessly is beyond me. I want these Phillie guys to win.

Public Transport can sometimes be too public

One of my favorite parts of Chicago is the extensive public transport system. Between the El, Metra, and the buses, you don't need a car in this city. And with gas around $3.20 a gallon nowadays and parking such a pain, it's not advisable to even have the burden. Yes, I'm so dependent on the CTA that I'm willing to shell the 3 bucks if fare increased next month. Further, I have no idea what I'll do in Indy since they have such a shitty public transport system.

One niggling thing though about public things: they can be too public. You're in close quarters with other people, especially during rush hour. What am I supposed to do in the morning when the 50 year old lady next to me is drifting asleep and dangerously close to my shoulder? I HATE that! Plus, you get some real weirdos on the el. Just today, I was on the bus to community health and this guy comes on to the bus around chicago and halsted. Apparently I have a sign on me that says "psychoanalyze me" becuase that's what this dude did. He starts saying that I need to stop folding my arms; it shows I'm a selfish guy. I then said (with no hint of sarcasm mind you), "thanks for the psychotherapy, buddy."

This prompted the guy to then say I'm snobbish for being so rude. Oh, I guess passing judgment on a complete stranger whose just trying to get back to the lab because he has a shitload of analysis to do isn't a jackass type of thing to do. My bad. One other guy on this same bus route (watch out for the 66 on Chicago Ave., guys and gals) started saying out loud "I want me a white girl" and this high school girl talking about how much of a slut she was and wanted to break up with her bf by sending him a text message. I knew I was getting old when I realized how annoying high schoolers are.

Oh yeah, at the end of this day, I got soaked from head to toe in a Chicago monsoon while two shuttles decided to not come tonight to pick up students. A great day for the CTA.

Empty Nest

So my brother just got dropped off at Purdue for college. We'll see how it goes; hopefully it gives him a good dose of reality. More importantly, my parents now are all alone back home. Wow, that's weird to think of. They have zero hobbies so I'm wondering how they're going to cope with that. It will be interesting nonetheless. I told them "you guys always have the dogs", but I know they're going to be bored in that big ole house in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. It's unfortunate but everyone grows up eventually and becomes independent from the 'rents. So here is a list of things they'll start doing without us there:

1. Work, work, and work: My parents already work pretty long hours, but I've noticed that working is a pretty good alleviation for boredom. In this summer after college, my circle of friends and people I hang out with has shrunk to a pittance. Coupled with an apt. without AC and lack of cable tv, itt's been a pretty good motivator to work 12 hours a day. What else am I going to do? Hopefully, my parents don't work too hard, but I see this as a pretty large likelihood.

2. Rent more movies: My parents are closet movie junkies, but hate paying for stuff without my brother and I being present. So this is not very likely.

3. Read books: very unlikely. My parents hate reading for leisure.

4. get a new dog: My parents have been talking for a while about getting a new dog (actually just mom), but Silky is getting old and may need a "replacement" soon. We'll see where this goes but I wouldn't be opposed to it at all. It'd be kinda cool.

5. Get friends: My parents have zero interaction with people in the community. For doctors, they can be pretty callous, but I really wish they had friends with whom they could talk to and invite for dinner, etc.

I feel bad for them, but hey it had to start sometime. As long as my dad doesn't get a motorcycle or a Cadillac, I think they'll get through the midlife crisis okay.

whooo craziness

Whooo...just got back to Chicago to start my research job. I get paid 500 a month to work 60 hr. weeks. Yep, i guess I must really like this stuff then. My boss, the PI, is really cool and so is everyone in the lab. God, I missed this city, though it's been steamy and sticky these last few days (and without AC in my apt. it sucks). Only 2 weeks left until I move to Lakeshore....YES! My new bachelor pad is the shit and I'm only a 15 minute walk from Mich. Ave. Can't wait to move in and enjoy the year off from formal academia!

Looks like the NFL has problems too...

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/don_banks/07/24/vick/index.html

You can put a thug in the NFL, but all the money in the world can't take the thug out of him. I hate thugletes, there were many at my undergrad college who had no business being at a so-called elite school. All American pro leagues need to clean up their act starting with the NBA going down the list. Send this guilty-ass thug to jail; that's true gangsta.

Ho-hum another starlet in jail

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/24/lohan.arrest/index.html

I'm sure everyone's heard of this by now. All I want to say is that the solution is not another slap on the wrist referral to a Malibu rehab center or fine. The spoiled brat needs to rot in jail, or better yet just lock herself in a spaceship along with Paris Hilton, tara reid, and Nicole Richie on a one way trip to the sun. This brat thinks she'll win an Oscar and be a serious actress? Yeah right...good luck on being taken seriously anymore by anyone.

Yi Jianlian holding out, Team USA floundering, and ref corruption -- other than that the NBA's great

Fans have known for a long time that the NBA is not what it used to be. I can't even watch regular season games anymore not involving the Suns and a few other select teams. There's no heart from players nowadays or real sense of rivalry. Players back then were in it for the money, but atleast they didn't mail in games and played with palpable intensity. Today's NBA players are robots with both fans and the media, and have a reputation for being pricks a la Kobe Bryant.

I'm sure everyone's heard about the ref corruption. Great, now refs aren't only incompetent bastards, but now they're corrupt bastards too. I bet Rasheed Wallace is sitting at home saying "I told you so" at this very moment. It makes me suspicious too; to think that the last few years of play in the NBA have even been legit.

Team USA is another problem in itself. Adding Jason Kidd was a very good thing. He's the kind of player that needs to be on Team USA. There should be a character screen from now on. I;m tired of arrogant thugs like Melo who may be ballas, but take international competition lightly. From now on, force these guys to live in the Olympic Village too. If it's good enough for Jordan, Barkley, and Malone then it's good enough for Lebron, Melo, and D-Wade

Another thing that makes me pissed is when players "force" themselves out of situations by demanding trades, etc. The worst example of this type of behavior is when drafted players do this type of maneuver. Even worse is when entire governments do the same thing. Well, this is what the Yi Jianlian circus is in a nutshell. I commend the Bucks organization for standing up to the Chinese government sporting body, an entity known for being duplicitous. Their reasoning makes no sense. His marketing potential won't be dented at all if he plays in Milwaukee. If you're good, you get endorsement deals, plain and simple. Look at Lebron he plays in Cleveland. If he doesn't want to live in Milwaukee, which is what I think is the real issue, then he wouldn't be any different from any other NBA player. Most NBA players unless they play in LA or New York don't actually live in the city they play in. It makes no sense to even do that because half of their games are on the road and then there is a substantial break between seasons (when Yi will be playing for China's national team presumably).

Further, Chicago is literally an hour away if he wants to be among a big population of Chinese people so badly. And after YOU ACTUALLY PLAY AND PROVE SOMETHING in the NBA then you can negotiate yourself to LA, New York, or wherever you desire. Yi and the Chinese sporting body are being big crybabies. You can't just force your way in America like you did back in China; there are rules here and being a bully won't work. the best thing for Yi to do is play for Milwaukee -- it'll be a good place to develop.

Plus, it goes against the ethos of the draft. The draft is supposed to help small market teams without big payrolls get better. Regardless if this Yi thing is solved, the NBA can count that as one positive in the last 5 years in this dysfunctional league. Count me out on watching the NBA next year. David Stern needs to regain American fans and stop catering willy-nilly to the international scene

If I were a Persian Prince....

A zany college friend of mine made this. Pretty good, eh?

Constructing the perfect female

How does one construct the perfect human being? In a human sex class, I learned that there are researchers who actually study this sort of stuff. So let me take a stab at this discipline of psychology (it was at this point that I learned that psychology is very much full of BS (no offense to psych majors)

1. Eyes - It's a toss up between Aishwarya Rai and Audrey Hepburn. I give the edge to Audrey hepburn because her eyes are so big that she almost looks like an anime characters. Those eyes are like saucers or something.

2. Face - Aishwarya Rai wins out this one. Perfect face; she's a Helen of Troy. And I wish she'd forget about Bollywood and take Hollywood roles. Sell out like the rest of Hollywood, actors act! Kissing an actor is part of the job; you're not actually kissing anyone for God's sake!

3. Legs - Jessica Simpson has the legs of a racehorse. She must do stairmaster for 6 hours everyday or something. It's true that everything is bigger in Texas I guess...However, I must decline because I think there is such a thing as too much. I'll go with Gemma Atkinson

4. Bum - Yes yes this will be a very trite answer but yes I'm going to say Jennifer Lopez. It's a freak of nature. She owes that caboose her entire career. I know that it's for the best and I shouldn't complain, but what the hell has she been doing for the last 5 years? You don't hear about her doing movies, music, or anything.

5. Chest - This will definitely be a contentious one, there really is no right answer. I'll go with Jennifer Connelly for the time being on this one. She got a breast reduction surgery even!

6. Body - Subjective again, but I pick Gisele Bundchen here. There is certainly a reason she's a model. Abs of steel pretty much.

7. Lips - No I'm not going to put Angelina Jolie here. Her lips are just plain scary. I'm going with Priyanka Chopra. She has nice full lips and doesn't look like a mutant like Angelina

8. Hair - I have a thing for nice long tresses. I think the right haircut on even a plain jane can make a girl look irresistible. I'll go with Kate Beckinsale up above. Brilliant marketing by Diet Coke. Perfect way to get the male demographic interested in diet soft drinks that taste like shit.

NIH should get on this project right away. Why are we wasting time looking for a cure for AIDS? This is way more worthwile BY FAR!!!!

An exercise in superficiality

Many people have told me that I'm a superficial person and I would have to agree for the most part. Invariably, when my friends and I see some pretty girl we go into the requisite guy talk going something like this:

"Oh dude, did you see that girl?"
"yeah man, the only problem is her _____ is too big/small/abnormal/etc."

I was just wondering why I have to be so nitpicky about stuff like that? Do girls do the same thing when they see a guy too? Then in that case I thought about the stuff girls would say about me and my friends. I'll use myself as an example:

"Oh God, did you see that guy?"
"Yeah, he'd almost be cute except for his _____"

The blank can be filled in with the following I can surmise

1. Large nose - My nose isn't as big as some Indian people's, but it is a bit on the ponderous side. My brother has a pretty big schnoz so I should be grateful

2. Short height - I can see this being a common problem. My dad is 5'4 and my mom is 5'2. Genetically, I had zero chance of clearing 6 feet. i try to compensate by staying fit and muscular, which is an insufficient thing to do when you're a munchkin like me. But hell Tom Cruise, Humphrey Bogart, and Tobey Maguire are shorties but they seem to do well for themselves.

3. hairiness - As any Kashmiri, I'm built for mountain living, but in the temperate American climate, it's proving to be unnecessary. I think all real men should have some hair on them; it's simply natural. A hairless chihuahua is unnatural for dogs just as is a hairless man. Women should stop demanding this of us. Regardless, I'm a Chia Pet.

Alright so there you go, I'm not a perfect specimen. Vain, I am. Excuse me, while I schedule some plastic surgery...

Top Six Movie Badasses

If I decided to forget about medicine and go into acting, I know exactly what typecast I'd want: the badass. I'd want to be known as the guy who can wield enough artillery to take out a small country all while getting the babes. I'd have the art of snapping necks and kicking ass down. Every director would call me up if they had a story that called for mowing down hundreds of men and doing death-defying stunts. So, as a homage to my fantasy, I devised a list of top ten movie badasses.

6. Steven Seagal - I think that family guy cutaway said it best. The one where Steve Seagal is beating up a bunch of arctic seals on an iceberg. Yes, Steve is the kind of guy who would do such an audacious thing. He didn't selectively kick ass; the guy was an uncontrollable killing machine in his movies. My favorite move by the guy is the snapping of necks, cheap but so effective. Too bad he crapped out bigtime with that DMX movie; this guy was the shit back in the day. (please refer to Undersiege and Undersiege 2 for good ole Seagal)

5. Bruce Willis - "Now I know what a tv dinner feels like" Bruce Willis gets on this list simply because of the Die Hard movies. The best part about those movies was how fallible the guy was. He was genuinely scared about being in dangerous situations, but he nonetheless perservered. I think that's why he survived into the 90s, whereas these other guys didn't. Plus, I hope he makes a comeback. We need more red-blooded, macho men with receding hairlines.
Watch: DIE HARD, The Fifth Element

4. Bruce Lee - So my brother is a huge martial arts buff. He loves any movie with guys flying around trees and wielding swords. Most of these movies are god-awful in my opinion (I don't get why people love Street Fighter with Sonny Chiba so much). But I'll always make an exception for Bruce Lee movies. Lightning quick moves and he had the whole don't mess with me attitude. Extra points for the cool sounds he makes.
Watch: Enter the Dragon, The Chinese Connection, Big Boss

3. Charles Bronson - Ahhh, I still remember the first day I watched Death Wish. It remains to this day one of the most violent movies I've ever seen. But then again if someone raped your daughter and killed your wife, I think any logical individual would respond by bringing hell on earth. You're not a real action movie aficionado till you've watched Death Wish. It was the precursor for Auh-nuld and Sly flicks later on.
Watch: Death Wish (the sequels pretty much blow), The Great Escape

2. Arnold - I can't spell his last name, but you know who I'm talking about. The Governator was amazing back in the 80s. If you needed a muscly, red-blooded guy to kick enormous amounts of butt, this was your man. Commando is one of my favorite action movies to this day. Paper thin story, but so entertaining. Seriously, Commando's story makes Bollywood movies sound like Shakespeare. Dutch, John Matrix, and the Terminator remain iconic characters. How did this guy get elected, pleeeeeeease go back to acting, will you? But no more movies where you're pregnant.
Watch: Commando, Predator, The Terminator

1. Sly - Stallone gets my number one spot because his movies were generally of better quality than Arnold's. You know, most dudes only get to play one iconic character known by only one name, but Sly played TWO. Rocky was the ultimate underdog and disregarding #5, they all ruled. I was genuinely surprised how much I liked Rocky Balboa, the latest film. I thought Stallone just wanted to revive a character that shoulda been laid to rest, but it was a smart movie and I was cheering for Rocky again. Oh yeah, how can you forget about Rambo. "God has mercy, John Rambo won't". Big muscles? Check. Big guns? check. Foreigner baddies or rednecks to beat up on? Check. How awesome would it be if there was an American platoon made up of John Rambo, John Matrix, and Charles bronson? America would finally solve Iraq for sure.
Watch: Rocky and Rambo

Honorable Mentions: Steve McQueen, Sean Connery (bond and the untouchables), Jet Li, Al Pacino

Day One

Well, it appears I've only missed the blogging bandwagon by about a decade. Better late than never, I suppose. You see, I'm selective on the fads that I join. Facebook? alright I'll do it. Myspace? No thanks. Pogs? Sure! Pokemon? Not so much.

I'll spare the boring details, suffice it to say I am a pretty ordinary person who just recently became a college graduate. Yay! I've joined thousands of other individuals in our great country in that endeavor. One thing I must let the random people who will read this blog know one thing upfront: I like listing things. So I guess I'll kickstart this biatch with a list of some of my favorite things...(cultural references are, incidentally, the first thing on the list)

Favorite Movies:
1. ANY Martin Scorsese - He's my favorite American director. I've yet to find a film by this guy that I hate. Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Raging Bull, The Departed, The Aviator....

2. North by Northwest - First of all, I have to say that Cary Grant is one of my favorite actors. This guy oozed cool in all of his movies. Albert Hitchcock equals movie gold as well. The story is convoluted, riveting, and has a surprisingly good sense of humor about it. How can you forget that crop duster scene or climbing Mount Rushmore? Plus, Eva Marie Saint...WOWZER!

3. The Great Escape - Hence the title of the blog...I've only watched it three times, but it's probably the best overall movie I've ever seen. Steve McQueen is a badass, plain and simple. It's the perfect guy movie and I don't think I'd ever get tired of watching Charles Bronson in his pre-Death Wish glory (i'm the deeger!)

Favorite Music:
1. The Smashing Pumpkins - Probably my favorite band. You either love this band or not, and I can see why Billy Corgan's voice can be enervating. The musicianship and hooks are there though. I refuse to believe that the reunion, by the way, is genuine until James Iha and Darcy (i'll take melissa auf der maur I guess) are back also.

2. 1980s music - I'm a sucker for synthesizers and balls to the wall music. Hence, my adoration for the tunes of the ostentatious decade. Back then, music was fun, not something dreary nor something lacking musical talent to perform (take any implications you want from that statement about music today). Van Halen, Phil Collins (yes, I said Phil Collins), GnR, Dokken, Michael Jackson...ahhhh musical bliss.

3. Led Zeppelin - As a guitar player, I don't really listen to lyrics when I hear a song. I pay more attention to the background. And for what it's worth, Zep has the best background guitar music of any band I've ever listened to. So you got that going for you, Jimmy Page, which is nice...

Favorite Random Stuff:

1. Inappropriate levels of alliteration - will probably become apparent from the musings in the blog
2. Medicine - Well, it's my intended profession so I'd better like it
3. Retro stuff - Something you can surmise from glancing at my list...old is gold

So there is the initial list for any person to pore over. I think my next post will be something more serious...even though being frivolous is so much fun.