So, it's been a long time since I've posted something. Partly because of work and partly because of nothing blog-worthy out there. Well, the wait is over. What has necessitated a blog entry? A new show on Fridays called "The Next Great American Band". It's from the same creators of American Idol and, trust me, it's NOTHING like that show.
-The host may be a short metrosexual, but he's from NEW ZEALAND, not america
-Sheila E. is a woman with a vague ethnicity who is largely a beacon of support for the bands, nothing like Paula Abdul
-Ian "Dicko" Dickson is a snarky Aussie, not a Brit like Simon Cowell, who always has a one-liner at hand to diss a band's performance. Never has there been a more appropriate nickname for a person, btw.
Anyways, the show uses the whole "least votes from texts, phone calls gets voted off" system, which automatically means that the best band is not going to win and inevitably a band equivalent to Sanjaya is going to pwn all the better, more experienced bands. In other words, a bunch of tweeners from Kansas are going to determine the winner that looks the best and isn't necessarily the most musically accomplished. But hey, that's what the music industry has devolved into nowadays so who am I to complain.
Despite the contrived premise of this show, I find myself surprisingly entertained by this AI spinoff. I usually go out on Thursdays and Saturdays and rest on Fridays after work. And for those of you who actually watch television on a Friday night, there's slim pickins. The only alternative is Friday Night Lights and Las Vegas, neither of which particularly appeal to me. Anyways, I'd like to run through the 12 bands that made the show and what I think of them because a) I got nothing better to do and b) there is no b.
1) The Likes of You - I've heard of this band before. The lead singer is a myspace darling and it was sad to see them go so quickly. Their vocals are amazing and if you're looking for the most marketable band, these guys are definitely up there.
2) The Hatch - I can never remember this band's name. I always refer to them as that "maroon 5ish quartet". Although their lead singer is a good-looking individual, I found their sound a bit too safe and bland. Nothing really innovative or musically interesting, but the tweeners would've loved these guys if they lasted longer.
3) The Muggs - I knew these guys would be eliminated quickly. These guys are like old people who just can't let go of the 70s and try hard to be hip and relevant. The lead singer looks kinda like an ugly Trey Anastasio. The band is really tight and their guitarist can rip pentatonically speaking. But I have to agree with Dicko, the vocals blow donkey nuts. His vocal range is way too high for the songs he tries to sing. And he can't pull off the Geddy Lee or Claudio Sanchez thing and sing high but sound freakin' awesome. Great bar band, but not a legit album-seller.
4) Rocket - The requisite "rocker chick" band. These girls are the epitome of flash over substance. The show spun them as this model for the young girls out there, but there HAS to be better chick bands out there than this sorry group. The instrumentation is not tight and the vocals are absolutely horrid. One thing they have going for them? The lead singer is nice to look at; she looks almost exactly like this girl I had a crush on. And like most girls she paid no attention to me...depressing I know.
5) Denver and the Mile High Orchestra - I've never been into big bands. There was a brief period in 1998 where big bands made a resurgence headed by Brian Setzer. And by brief I mean, like in the summer of that year. For missing the boat by 9 years though, these guys have a good chance of making it out of this competition. The instrumentation is tight, which is an incredible feat when you have a brass section along with guitar, bass, and percussion. The vocals are ok, but the lead singer is as bland as plain vanilla ice cream. He's the kind of guy who shops at Eddie Bauer, wears pleated khakis, and watches the Today Show every morning before going to work as a realtor.
6) Cliff Wagner and the Old No. 7 - Git yer gitter and meet me at Uncle Cletus' hoedown. These bluegrass guys are talented and I'm impressed that they can come up with bluegrass covers of Madonna and Billy Joel at a whim it seems. The one problem: bluegrass is even more niche than jazz or techno. As much as I admire the gitter and banjo twangin', there's no way in hell this would sell on itunes or at your local sam goody.
7) Tres Bien - A nouveau British invasion band. Take the Beatles, the Who, The Kinks and add liberal amounts of The Animals to get Tres Bien. Though they lose points for originality and I halfway expect them everytime to bust out singing "She loves you, YEAH YEAH YEAH", the band is decent. The frontman is charismatic and they're solid, but not exceptional musicians. I hope they have a metal themed round to see a moddish take on Megadeth.
8) Dot Dot Dot - Chicago love! My best description for Dot Dot Dot is New-Wave-y, powerpop band with emo-ish affectations. Their look is clearly inspired by Flock of Seagulls, Duran Duran, and From First to Last. In other words, they look like immense tools and silly nannies. What saves them is that 1) i have a penchant for 80s new wave and 2) they can actually play their instruments. Though their lead singer is a poster child of androgyny, he can sing pretty well. Their version of that Elton John song blew me away. And the guitar player chick is pretty damn good. I can see these guys making it because they are equal parts flash and substance.
9) Sixwire - I don't know if it's fair to have this new country band in the competition. They had a major record deal and the members toured with lots of country acts individually. It really shows as they are the tightest band. The gang vocals are just fantastic and perfectly synchronized. These guys would sell well to a broad audience despite being a Nashville band. My only beef is that they sound too squeaky clean. They have little edge from their perfectly kempt to look unkempt hair to their slim fit jeans. They need some rawness to their look and sound.
10) Light of Doom - Look at the above picture. You can see why this band is the favorite of pedophiles everywhere. I feel perverted watching shirtless kids with long hair headbanging away. *shudders* Anyways, Light of Doom is a bunch of 12-13 year olds who are like a mini-Iron maiden. Their guitar player, who is a good 10 years younger than me, puts me to shame. I feel like I've wasted my time next to this kid. He flawlessly plays 80s metal guitar. I just can't get over how good they sound and concomitantly how young they are. Their biggest challenge: their lead singer going through puberty could sideline the band for a good 3-4 years.
11) The Clark Brothers - A trio of bard brothers. They have no bass or percussion and guess what? They don't need it at all. These guys are one of my favorites. The singer just sends chills down my spine when he sings, so emotional and spiritual. And the way they incorporate violins and slide guitar is astonishing. It creates an atmosphere to the music that's both eerie and unbelievable. Unlike Cliff, I could see this back-country band selling records and venues.
12) Franklin Bridge - Wow. These guys blow me away. Take the Roots and add Boys 2 Men vocals with urban flair, and that doesn't even begin to describe Franklin Bridge. Carefree vibe and smooth as silk vocals are what these guys are about. Oh, btw the singer can rip on guitar. How the hell these guys go from R&B to rock so seamlessly is beyond me. I want these Phillie guys to win.
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